This bitch is a fraud. All this time we thought her ass was the real thing!
Someone asked:
Hey Milena, my boyfriend and I really want to have anal sex but don’t know how gross it might be. What precautions can I take to not make it gross? How long before sex should I go to the bathroom to poop? Thanks, love your blog.
Um. I always get questions about anal and dodge them, but I’ll answer yours and make a mental note to write about this at some point.
I don’t have tons of insight regarding anal sex because it is not one of my preferred sexual acts, but I guess I can give you some basic pointers:
• Go take a dump to clear out your bowels. Shower while you’re at it, to make sure your ass is sparkling clean and there are no dangling bits of TP— you know that shit happens. (no pun intended)
• Use a lot of lube, and get good shit. In general, I prefer water-based lubes like Liquid Silk (which is the bomb and the most natural-feeling one I’ve found) but if you’re engaging in some butt play, I would recommend some silicone-based lube, as it doesn’t dry out as quickly. (It is harder to wash off, though, so it’s your call.)
• Don’t go from 0 to 60 in 3.5. Dude, if you’ve never had anything up your ass and suddenly you’re getting a lot of it, it might be hard on you. (I know for me it was.) Ease into it; try one, two fingers, make sure you are relaxed and not clenching up, and when you feel confident enough, go in for the kill. I strongly suggest getting a butt plug and practicing with it until you are comfortable with things up your ass.
• Have the guy wear a condom if you don’t want a sloppy mess of goo inside your ass. In general, I appreciate how clean condoms make sex. No jizz in any cavities!
• And most importantly: You can go from the vag to the ass but not the other way around. So if you want to have anal as part of your foreplay, make absolutely sure that he puts on a new condom before P-in-the-V intercourse. (Or, if you guys rely on some other form of BC, just make sure he uses a condom during anal and takes it off before intercourse. You know what I mean.)
Anyway, that’s all I got, hopefully it helps! If anybody has anything to add or to ask, formspring me.
solblurgh asked: should've watch rush hour
naaaah.
How does she go back to being a teen and then back again to being 30 and getting married?
I am confused.
Do I watch Rush Hour of 13 Going On 30?
He brought back:
• A fuckton of mango
• dates! dates! dates! (I fucking adore dates)
• My staples from the Whole Foods salad bar
• a 24-oz container of French Onion soup, which I told him I’d been craving desperately
• lots of ginger ale
Dude. I am so happy my dad gets to do my grocery shopping and I stay in bed watching fucking Taking the Stage (crappiest show evar, btw) and re-writing my lab proposal to turn in on Monday.
Stars And Sons- Broken Social Scene
Her Gay Best Friend: Sex - All the Cool Kids are Doing It
OK, if anybody’s going to try to discourage women from sleeping around, they need a more compelling argument than getting their reputation ruined. What about girls who *gasp* don’t give a fuck what others think of them? God. It is so obvious that this is a guy giving advice to girls, because I doubt most girls over the age of 18 would think along these lines.
(found through Jezebel.)
But every time I watch The Real World: DC, that bitch Erica pisses me off so. fucking. hard.
Bitch is always whining about something, she’s never a good sport, she’s emotionally super needy, and she is so delusional about her talents. She can’t sing for shit and the songs she writes sound like cheap imitations of Taylor Swift songs.
Kick her out!
Also, weirdo Andrew going on his date is the cutest thing ever. I knew from the beginning his roommates were misjudging him!
grayandgreen:brittanyalexm:nevver:
The eternal question.
…
Had an interesting conversation vaguely along these lines. Dunno if the answer is “try harder” or “cry harder” :P
… How about move on and find someone for whom she is number one?
Young Teen Girls Addicted To Sex And Violence!
GASP!
(I kinda sorta like being sick. I can’t go to the pub and flirt with guys and drink my cider, but I can stay in bed watching Maury. Not a horrible trade-off.)
Only four hours until I scarf that shit down like I’m a starving girl— oh wait, I kinda am, since I’ve only consumed one toast, one egg, and a cup of mango in the last 24 hours.
DAMN MONO.
Dude. I had completely forgotten just how trashy and awesome Univision can be.
