On one of my TAs
Me: [redacted] is so fucking hot.
Joey: Yeah, he is kinda cute.
Me: I sorta wish I would run into him at a bar...
Joey: ... and grab his dick?
Me: Well, more like run into him in such a way that his penis is accidentally rammed into my vagina and we end up having sex. And then, "woops, my bad, can I get you a beer?"
Apr 14th
Yesterday at Harvard Square, while...
Homeless guy: Excuse me miss, do you have any spare change?
Me: Sorry, I have no cash on me.
Homeless guy: ok.
(minutes later)
Homeless guy: Miss, I was wondering what such a beautiful girl like you is doing alone around here. Don't you have a boyfriend?
Me: I, uh, I'm waiting for him?
Homeless guy: Ah, I see. Well, if you're ever single, you know where to find me.
Apr 5th