Dec
27th
Sat
27th
Why women shouldn't say 'I love you' first
lenachen: christineyu:
I agree. English is overly simplified in that sense; there’s pretty much no other way to say it other than saying “I love you.” In Spanish, we have “te quiero mucho” and “te amo”, which are used in different contexts. Te quiero mucho is used with friends and family, but te amo is something so different, and conveys much more passion than saying just “I love you.” But the whole “I love you” thing is definitely an American thing. Never have I see such hesitation over saying a simple phrase as I have since I moved here. In my culture, you say what you feel, how you feel it and when you feel it, and there’s no thinking about it. But here people make such a big deal about it, it almost takes the whole romance out of it. Ugh.Until I dated Patrick, I never realized that the concept of “I love you” as this huge important turning point was strictly an American phenomenon. I didn’t spring it on him right away but when I did, I definitely had certain expectations about what his response should be. When he didn’t respond in kind, I was extremely upset. But this is what he explained to me:
- English isn’t his native language and the word “love” as it’s used in German is completely different from how it’s used in English. While I casually toss it at friends, pets, and the end of phone calls, the German equivalent would never be employed similarly.
- Even if he doesn’t want to say “I love you”, it doesn’t mean that his feelings for me are any different than mine for him.
