30th
Free dating advice from Milena, because JA can't do it right.
I was reading JA’s blog on Nonsociety (don’t shoot me), and I came across this post, which talks about her first date with an extremely well educated man who seems to be fairly good-looking and a good catch. She was running a bit late:Dinner at 7? In the East Village?? (after I scoffed at Fig & Olive, he had volleyed back with Hearth, on 12th Street. A decent choice, but pretty inconvenient, especially on a rainy Sunday.) I texted him around 6, asking if he wouldn’t mind moving it to 8 pm, and … um … on the Upper West side, maybe? He texted back that he wouldn’t (mind, that is).
At 7:30 it occurred to me that I wouldn’t be ready by 8. Could we move it to 8:30, I asked? We could, he texted back. At 8, still in my workout clothes at the gym (yes, the gym, people. I went there.), I texted him something along the lines of “Don’t kill me, but could we make it 9?” He told me later that he thought I wouldn’t bother showing up.
There are so many wrong things with this!
First off, a guy is inviting you out to dinner, and you dare scoff at his suggestion regarding where to eat? I doubt he’d take you to a lame restaurant, and it seems that Fig & Olive is a quite nice place that I’d be delighted to go to on a date. Then he suggests another place that would be more suitable to your “fine” taste (but which you only consider “decent”), and you still don’t like it. I mean, right off the bat, if I was a guy and a girl gave me this much fucking attitude about a restaurant, I would just not go out with her. After all, a date is meant to be spent getting to know each other, not trying to squeeze an expensive meal out of a man and then not speak to him again (because, as you yourself said, you rarely go on more than one date with a guy). And let it also be noted that, by turning down the options he gives you, you are indirectly insulting his taste and basically saying that whatever he has to offer to you is just not good enough. Get off your high horse because you are not hot shit!
And second, if you made prior arrangements to meet up at a certain time, fucking stick to it. This is one of my biggest pet peeves: people who can’t stick to a schedule. Does it ever occur to you that the guy might have a really busy day, or that he has something to do after dinner, and that by keeping on changing the meetup time you’re wasting his time? As a professor and a researcher, I bet you that he has way more important things to do than sit around and wait for you to get ready —and you didn’t even dress up at all! So if you made plans to meet up at 7, just do whatever you can to make it by 7. I don’t think it’s that hard; you do jack shit all day, and twittering and pouting for photos is hardly time-consuming. If necessary, pushing it back for half an hour is not so bad and could be excused and made up for (if you call the person at least two hours beforehand), but two hours? Bitch, please.
Girls like you give the rest of us on-time, simple girls a bad name.
Edit: Also, why the fuck would you invite David Karp to your date? That’s like calling a friend and inviting her to join you and your man in bed, all the while he’s fucking you! So impolite… If he wanted to spend time with this other guy, he would have invited him himself.
