a girl who knows what she likes.

On double standards.

He told me afterwards in terms of absolute value, sex and drugs were equally meaningless to him. Just two different ways to have fun. Which is all well and good, until a girl tries out the same approach.

This could not popped into my head at a better moment. After spending my freshman year trying to get rid of my old life and finding myself, and last term wasting my time dragging along a “romance” staler than week-old bread, I went for a turnaround this year. I vowed to put some effort into my physical appearance instead of wearing jeans and a sweater to class— although that’s still better than leggings, north face fleece, and Uggs— and to have more fun. Of course the having more fun part was all about going out in the beginning. I got a fake ID my freshman year that I never dared to try, because I figured my friends were not the kind of people to go out anyway. But staying in smoking and drinking gets old, fast.

So back were the days of getting all dressed up and boozing it up at a club with an overpriced cover fee. And the boys. While in Puerto Rico I sometimes got attention from guys, the truth is that I was less confident than I am now, and my best friend was hotter than me anyway, so guys went for her. Now, despite my still-hot friends, I am way more confident and know how to work my charm and my body better. And the guys have taken notice.

I am convinced guys have a special radar for us girls who are in it just for the challenge and the fun. We’re not looking for anything serious, and we’d rather never see you again or get your phone number. Just buy me a vodka tonic or two, be nice to me, and put me in a cab when were done. We don’t get attached, and we know as well as you what’s up.

Of course, guys have been doing this forever. Getting girls and then never seeing them again, guys are just great at that. And they’re also great at getting away with it without the least bit judgement. Girls, on the other hand, not so much. We get called sluts for doing the same thing that gets guys called playboys. Seems unfair, doesn’t it?

I’ve been getting some heat lately from the Puerto Ricans here. You see, they love to gossip, and since none of them are getting any, they choose to talk about me getting some. A couple of weeks ago, I discreetly left a party with a Puerto Rican from another school, except someone saw us take the elevator together, and well, they figured out what was going on before I even had a chance to make up my mind about it. Of course, the next morning everyone was talking about it and it became a public thing. And while I love sharing stories about hookups, I try to keep the identities a secret. So I was not happy about my sex life being aired out for everyone to see, especially by someone foreign to it.

And a lot of unfair judgement was passed. I was made to be a slut for having a one-night-stand (that has since been repeated) with a guy I somewhat knew. Now there’s always an email being sent out about me wanting cock or something similar, which I first took in good spirit and laughed about, but now they just really get on my nerves. After one of the guys took it upon himself to actually mention his name, my name, and sex in the same sentence over an email that reached all of the Puerto Ricans, I finally had enough. I emailed him back and told him that I was fair game but that he better not dare mention the names of anyone I’ve slept with, and his response was, “a lo hecho, pecho,” which means something along the lines of “own up to what you’ve done.”

And at the same time I get called a slut for hooking up with a guy— because God forbid a girl gets horny and has sex— guys get cyber high-fives every time they get ass. I’ve seen guys who RATE and RANK girls based on their bed skills, but if a girl tries to keep a list of guys they’ve slept with to remember who they are, she’s a slut for even considering sleeping with that many men that she wouldn’t remember.

One of my friends got called a slut for trying to hook up with several of the Puerto Rican guys here after she broke up with her boyfriend who also is a Puerto Rican here. How dare she try to hook up with another Puerto Rican guy, right? Of course I’ve seen the guys do their rounds— that is, whenever they find a girl stupid and/or desperate enough for some cock that she’ll fall for their horrible lines. But they don’t get judged, ever. It’s just guys being guys, you know. When are we going to get the same treatment? When are guys’ and girls’ sex lives going to be either equally judged or equally condoned?

It’s not only my “friends” judging me— I also get the heat from the guys I see. After praising me on my skills, a guy recently asked if I “have a lot of experience,” which is just a nicer way of asking, “hey, so exactly how much do you sleep around?” Um, thanks for calling me a slut while I have your peen in my mouth. While I’ll take a compliment and chalk this up to him not being able to put two words together in a very awkward moment, really, why do people assume I am a slut just because I have sex? I mean, please, think highly of yourself (and myself as well); I’m putting out because I like you, not because I am so hungry for some cock that I’ll settle for anything that comes my way. Those kind of girls you find at a frat wearing faded jeans and smelling like baby prostitutes.

(And I don’t think I even need to mention how the number of people I have slept with is not any indication of how “healthy”, to put like like that, I might be, and therefore, nobody’s business but my own. The right question to ask would be if I’m clean, which any smart girl or guy would make sure to be.)

It’s the 21st century, but looking at the way we judge each other on things that don’t really concern or affect anyone but ourselves and the people we decide to share our bed with, I’d say we’re still centuries behind the so-called modern society we think ourselves to be.

Still, fuck all of you and your judgements, because bottom line is that I’m probably getting more ass than you anyway. Ha!